Tessolari blog

Executive dysfunction explained

Mon, 01 Jun 2026 10:00:00 +0100

Sixth in our Traits explained series, after Autistic inertia and ADHD paralysis.

Time blindness, task paralysis, procrastination, forgotten errands, half-finished projects, the email that has been open for three days — for a lot of neurodivergent adults these are not separate problems with separate fixes. They are surface features of the same underlying pattern: executive function, the brain’s set of “manager” abilities, working differently. Calling it a single thing called executive dysfunction is convenient shorthand, but the more useful picture is a small cluster of related differences that show up together.

Autistic inertia and ADHD paralysis

Tue, 26 May 2026 10:00:00 +0100

Fifth in our Traits explained series, after Autistic burnout explained.

You know exactly what needs doing. You want to do it. You may even care about it a great deal. And still you cannot start. Or, having started, you cannot stop. To anyone watching, it can look like laziness or stubbornness. It is neither. Autistic inertia and ADHD task paralysis are related but distinct patterns of being stuck, and they have nothing to do with how much you want the outcome. This piece sets out what is actually happening and, more usefully, the things that help you start and stop.

Autistic burnout explained

Sat, 23 May 2026 14:21:44 +0100

Fourth in our Traits explained series, after Auditory processing differences.

Autistic burnout is the kind of tiredness a holiday does not touch. It builds slowly, often over months or years, until skills that used to be automatic stop arriving on demand and the smallest tasks feel impossible. It is not laziness, not ordinary stress, and not quite the same as depression, though it is frequently mistaken for it. Clinical medicine is still catching up, but autistic people have described it clearly for years, and the research is beginning to confirm what they have said. This piece sets out what autistic burnout is, how it differs from the things it is confused with, and what recovery actually looks like.

Auditory processing differences

Fri, 22 May 2026 08:00:00 +0100

Third in our Traits explained series, after Alexithymia explained.

You can hear perfectly well and still lose the thread of a sentence. The volume is fine, the words arrive, and somewhere between the ear and the meaning a few of them slip. That experience has a name: auditory processing differences. It is not the same as a hearing problem, nor is it not listening hard enough. This piece sets out what is actually happening, why trying harder tends to make it worse, and the practical adjustments at home and work that lower the load.

Alexithymia explained

Wed, 20 May 2026 08:14:00 +0100

Second in our Traits explained series, after Time blindness explained.

Some people read their feelings like a wall thermometer: there it is, hot or cold, easily named. Other people have to look harder, and sometimes the feeling stays unreadable however long they look. That second experience has a name: alexithymia (pronounced uh-lek-si-THY-mee-uh). It is well-documented, common in autistic and ADHD adults, and it is not the same as not having feelings. This piece sets out what alexithymia actually is, why standard emotional check-ins often miss, and a few approaches that help.

Getting started on Tessolari

Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Welcome. If you’ve just signed up to Tessolari, or you’re thinking about it, this is the post we wish we could hand to every new member with a cup of tea. Nothing here is urgent, and you don’t have to do it all in one sitting. The platform is built so you can dip in, do a step, leave, and come back later.

What Tessolari is for

We’re a peer support platform for the small, practical things that make day-to-day life easier: form-filling, online admin, friendly check-ins, tutoring, skill-sharing, and the occasional bit of company at an appointment. Most members are neurodivergent. Many also offer support to others. Some are family, friends, or allies who simply want to help.

Staying safe when offering or accepting in-person support

Fri, 24 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Most of what people do on Tessolari is online or async: drafting emails, walking through a form on a video call, or chatting in messages. But some of the most useful work happens in person: a hand at an appointment, a hygiene check-in, a board-game evening, an hour of clay-handling. We want those meetings to be straightforward and safe, for both sides. Here’s how we think about it.

Start the conversation in writing

Use the on-platform messages for the first few exchanges, even when phoning would be quicker. Written messages give you both a record of what was agreed, time to read at your own pace, and a chance to spot anything that doesn’t sit right before you meet. They’re also visible to our moderators if a problem ever needs investigating.

Time blindness explained

Fri, 17 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0000

First in our Traits explained series.

“Time blindness” is one of those phrases that gets used everywhere and explained almost nowhere. It turns up in ADHD self-help books, autistic forums, and burnout articles, and it can mean slightly different things to different people. We thought it was worth setting out what we mean by it on Tessolari, why we treat it as a real thing rather than a personal failing, and what actually helps.

Hello world: why I built Tessolari

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 09:30:00 +0100

Hello world. That is the first thing you write when you build something new, and it feels like the right way to open this blog, because Tessolari started as something I built for myself. I am a 49-year-old single dad to two autistic children, and I live with ADHD and a handful of autistic traits of my own. The platform exists because I needed it to, and nothing I could find online came close. This is the honest version of how it came about.